A Holiday Poem from a member of the Group

'Twas Shortly before Christmas

'Twas shortly before Christmas, when all through the week
Not a stirbar was spinning, and the roof did not leak;
The Eppendorfs were removed from the lyopholizer with care,
In hopes that Santa would hang his presents there;

The students were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of hybrids danced in their heads;
And Clemens with his headphones, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When in a sudden near the MALDI there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Ran to the hood and threw up the sash.

It was a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
He looked so worried, he looked very upset,
It seems all the world's presents got a little wet;

"Now, Dave! now Will! now Chuck and Colleen!
On Ina! on Matt! on, Clemens and Lysine!
To the top of Pearson! to the top of Michael!
Now dry them! dry them! dry them all!

They got out of bed, tho' they were groggy
They had to make Christmas a little less soggy.
Hooking up pumps, setting every trap,
Rigging every apparatus - just to rotovap,

They spared no expense, experience they did no lack it,
They gathered mag sulfate and silica "DO NOT EAT" packet.
The oven was ready; dessicators filled to the brim,
This year's Christmas was looking a little less grim.

The lab was a tad muggy, the heat guns switched on,
They opened up three tanks of pure dry argon.
The feat was almost complete, there was no confusion,
Cause' the Richert Lab would not wait for simple diffusion.

So Santa was thankful, waving adieu,
Happy to have met such a helpful crew.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew
With a sleigh full of dry toys, and St. Nicholas too.

Adapted from "Twas the night before Christmas" by Joshua Steinberg
December 1997

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